Why would I want to do that when, in my generation the women's liberation movement was in it's beginning stages? Because my mother had to work checking groceries or as a secretary all my school age years to help make ends meet and I was a latch key kid when there was no term for it.
I wanted to come home from school on a cold winter's day and share my day with mom...but she wasn't there. And when she came home it was "Did you do your homework?" Supper was ready because I fixed it and that's not a bad thing, because I learned, dad did the dishes and she studied her bookeeping courses while I did my homework. She was there, but she wasn't there... even though mom did her best, I wanted better for my kids. And Summer's? They were a whole other story!
So at the age of almost 20 I married a more mature man of 27 1/2 who had his mother at home with him his whole life. He agreed with me that "my work" would be at home with the kids. Well 7 years went by before we finally had children and I had worked for most of those years as a secretary.
I knew that in the 70's with high inflation and double digit interest rates on homes(thank you Jimmy Carter) that it was going to take a literal miracle for me to be able to stay at home with any children we might have.
Well, guess what? I believe in miracles and I believe in a miracle working God, so I asked Him to help me stay at home with any children we might have. And He did! And not only did He...He will again - for you! If you dare to believe and dare to ask and dare to keep on believing!
After fulfulling my dream job, was it worth it? You betcha! Did I do everything right? Absolutely not! My kids will be the first to tell you that I screwed up royally. And for the record - just like everyone does - some more than others. I don't have all the answers to America's problems, but I have an important one - America's children need their mothers back!
The Bible specifically says in Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Ever wonder why that is? Because the mother is supposed to be with the children while dads out gleaning the fields (or working.)
"But you didn't make any money!" is what I often have heard throughout my life. And, "Do you work?" Boy did I ever! We often thought "When the kids get older, I'll go to work." But we never got them to an age that they didn't need me around. Did I make money? No, I didn't MAKE money, but I probably saved us a fortune. In many ways...I kept our kids out of trouble, they never did drugs and we didn't have to bail one out of jail. And even with all that, they still aren't perfect! You know why? Because like you and me they're born with a sin nature and they have to make their own choices in life now.
All I was supposed to do was direct and tie down the stray branches and give them a direction to grow in, just like you would a running rose bush that's climbing a brick wall. You tack down the branches as they grow in the direction you want them to go in. Same with kids.
It's simple really - God usually is. Man tries to make it difficult. The Book of Proverbs has 31 chapters and each month has 30 days usually. Read 1 book from Proverbs everyday - Jan 1, read Proverbs 1, 2nd, chapter 2 and so on. for those days that have less than 31 days, read 2. If you will do this you will gain wisdom and insight on how to raise your children. There are many practical how-to's in that very wise book.
I think God was definately a huge part of the formula for raising kids...but so was I - even with all the things I did wrong (and they were plenty!) I see it as a miracle really, because so many we know didn't avoid many of the pitfalls of life that our children did. And they had far better mothers than me.
One of the miracles that always got my attention was when Peter walked on the water. He saw Jesus on the water and said "Lord if it is You, bid me to come!" Jesus said "Come". Now Peter picked up his foot and put it on the water - in faith, keeping his eyes on Jesus. And Jesus made the water hard enough to walk on.
It was only when Peter took his eyes off the Lord that he fell...and Jesus saved him. But there were 2 parts to that miracle - God's part and Peter's part. I think I did my part and God did His part for my miracle.
Also, with Noah, God gave Noah a word about rain coming and destroying the earth. Ya gotta know something here: It had never rained on earth before and Noah didn't even know what rain was! But he chose to believe God and showed his belief by his actions - he built the ark! Had he not done so, he would have drowned with all the rest! Another miracle that shows God's saving grace - through man's involvement. Noah had a choice - God didn't force him to build that ark. And you too have free choice.
When you become a parent a ton of joy comes with that precious little bundle. You fall in love with a complete stranger. So much so that you would lay down your life and die for that baby. But would you really? Would you lay down your life for his/hers? Would you lay down your dreams and wishes,desires and ambitions to raise that child to adulthood? Then, move on?
In high school I had a very strong desire to become a writer. Without financial resources (or at least I didn't know how to go about getting them) I didn't even seriously contemplate college. I knew it would be too much to ask of my parents and they would not be able to help me.
But I see this too as my saving grace from God, because having three older brothers, I was a tomboy and "tough". Women's Lib was just coming about, the hippie's were just beginning to show up with their "burn the bra" mentality and had I gone to college I would have been on the front lines burning my bra and demonstrating and only God knows what. So Lord, I thank you right now for saving me from all that!
Barbara Walters was new to the news scene and admired by all us women back in the early 70's and had I gone to college and studied Journalism like I wanted, I would have given her a good run for the money my friend. As you can probably tell from the blog, I tend to be an aggressive woman. Yes, I know that turns people off. And I used to hate it about myself. I'm not saying it's my best quality, but it's certainly not the worst. I have come to understand that God uses people like me who are bold and outspoken. He just wants to direct their tongue! Like a bit in a horse's mouth so to speak.
The Me generation and I want it Now generation and the "I am Woman, hear me roar!" generation would not lay down their life's desires and instead, they chose abortion rather than life. They chose their own selfish desires over a sweet innocent baby's life.
And now, America's paying for it. The Boomers, the Hippies gave up their babies (those who would now be paying into the Social Security System for them) and they're griping because they aren't going to get all their Social Security benefits. Hmmm....wonder what happened? I know exactly what happened. They are reaping what they have sown. Death to the babies and now they're being faced with possible euthanasia in their old age by the very ones who were taught by them how to be selfish - their children!
They don't want to take care of Mom and Dad in their old age. That's why investing in nursing homes is such a good thing right now! They're building them like crazy! Those little children saw how Mom and Dad treated their grandparents and are only doing what they've been taught!
I also think America's parent's have dropped the ball by not making mothering their children a priority and that's why America is in the condition it's in. Thank you Hippie Sixtie's Flower Children....my generation. I thank God everyday that I didn't follow their path. I graduated from high school in 1966 and the hippie generation went crazy the next summer. Wow! God put a desire in my heart to be a mother because my mother wasn't there.
He can and will take your lemons and make lemonade out of them if you ask Him to! If you have a desire to be a stay at home mother and raise your children yourself, ask God for His help and He WILL make a way for that to happen. He's ready, willing and more than able to make a way, to open doors, give witty inventions and provide an answer to your prayer! Then, just trust Him to do it and watch your miracle happen right in front of your face!
So many people have fallen away from God and don't even realize it. They think "Well I believe there's a God!" and that's enough. Well it's not. The Bible says even satan himself believes there's a God! Believing He is does not mean you believe in Him and trust Him. It does not mean you know Him or His Word.
The Bible is not some dry book as satan would have you believe. The society we live in tells you that and many have fallen for it. God's Word is Life itself. It will give you a hope that you have never had before. I encourage you to read God's Word and seek the Lord while He may be found.
God uses the little things in life to draw you to Himself. He desires you as a Bridgroom desires his bride. He moves mountains to attain you - your mountains. My desire to mother my children caused me to cry out to Him for mercy in a merciless world. In a world much like we have today - with high unemployment and a youth gone wild. Let God use your desires to fulfill His desires. For you see, His desire is that you be with the very children you desire to be with! He doesn't want you to leave them to their own devices and ideas. Or worse yet the devices and ideas of others.
I believe being a mother is the highest calling for a woman. So many women feel that they won't be fulfilled if they quit their jobs and stay at home. "I'd be bored to to death!" No you wouldn't. You'd learn to care for those children God's Way and His Way is Easy and His Burden is Light. But what if you are bored? So? It's not all about you. It's about the children and what's best for them! And in turn, it's what's best for our country.
I know what many are thinking that are reading this..."She's crazy! It's all or nothing with this lady! Black or white!" Yep, pretty much, that's about right. Because God's Word is absolute, I make no apologies for having absolutes. Our gray society has become lukewarm and the parenting skills have been lost. Parents are friends to their children more than a parent. Obviously I'm not speaking of all parents, but rather the majority.
Why am I writing about all this? Because I think there are women out there that want to do the same, but think it's an impossibility. I want to help them find a way to stay at home with their kids. I think America needs the mothers of this nation to be just that...mothers.
I've heard almost everyone that works out of the home make the statement "I'd rather have quality time with my kids than quantity time." Quantity time is quality time! At what time do you want to leave them to their own devices or under the care and tutelage of others to learn their values, not yours? 2, 10, 17? All those ages still need their mothers to oversee what they're doing and who they're with and to lead and guide them in the decisions of life.
Many think that teenagers don't need 'mommy' around anymore. No, not 'mommy', but mom... someone who can lead them into more adult roles and help them with decisions that are life changing. A 2 yr. old needs someone to say 'no' and STICK TO IT. By the time they're 10, if you do it right, you don't have to say 'no' as much if at all. They've learned what's acceptable and what's not. They have had boundaries set and feel safe and comfortable.
But the activities start around this age...cheerleading, baseball, basketball, football, soccer, piano lessons, swim team and on and on. Be careful here...keeping kids involved is important to keep them out of trouble. But don't overload them with so many things to do that they don't have time to just be a kid and go outside and play on their bike, or roller skate or more importantly, have family time. The family unit is so broken down and that must be repaired.
Get your children out of in front of the tv and computer and video games. LIMIT these times to a couple of hours A WEEK. Have family time together as much as possible. Research has shown that parents who have a sit down dinner with their children at least once a week have a better relationship with their kids and their kids are less likely to be on drugs. Just once a week!
Don't put the computer in their room - make it in a common area and look over their shoulder often, so they get used to it and don't think you're 'sneaking a peek'. If it's normal, it's normal. They won't think a thing about it. It will keep them from being involved in things they don't need to be involved in.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Keep current. Every generation has their own language - learn theirs. We laid down some basic rules about clothing as well. When all the boys were wearing their pants low and their underwear showing, that was unacceptable in our household. We weren't prudes, even though we're Christians. We wanted our sons to be men, not women and we wanted our daughters to be beautiful women, not men.
I'll start with the girls first. They wore dresses when it was appropriate - to church and to school (Christian Schools required it.) Out of school they were in shorts and jeans. But they didn't wear things that were risque because one of the things I told them was what God's Word has to say about it. Men are influenced by what they see, women are influenced by how a man treats them. I told my daughters that if they dressed immodestly, they would cause a man to lust after them. God would hold them responsible for causing a man to sin by lusting after them.
I'm not saying that a girl that dresses provocatively and is raped is to blame. Not at all. The man made the choice to rape her and rape is not about sex anyway, it's about control. But lust is an act of the heart, not an act of the body. Even if a man doesn't act upon his lust, he's still lusting and it's sin in the eyes of God.
A woman has a responsiblity before God to not cause a man to lust. A girl can be pretty and modest without being dressed like the Amish or other plain dressing people. Modesty is a lost art today. Teach your daughters to be modest. Less is more...a man is intrigued by what he DOESN'T see! It's called being a lady...
As I previously stated, our sons weren't allowed to dress in an immodest fashion either. Their shirts were tucked in and a belt was worn most of the time. They wore pretty much regulation haircuts. No long hair, no weird haircuts. Manly haircuts were the order of the day. But one of the ways I was able to keep them from being rebellious about it was to keep them with kids with the same values. Christian schools had regulations that were not the norm at public schools. The kids were 'normal' too - they weren't weird Christian kids.
They were respectful, kind, not rude and when we were in public as a family or as a group of kids from school the people in the restaurant or wherever would comment on how polite they were. They didn't go into a restaurant and destroy it or make huge scenes. They were taught to look a person in the eye when they spoke, give a firm handshake and to work.
We taught our sons that they were to be the provider for their families and their wives top priority was to take care of their children. If their wives could make money while with their children, great, but never put your kids in daycare under someone else's care and values. And never put making money before your core family values. I sincerely believe that our nation depends on it.
Speaking of money, let me say a couple of things about money right here. Money is a necessity of life for all the obvious reasons. It is also a tool and a big responsibility. Teach your kids to be responsibile with money.
The first lesson for them to learn about money is that God gives it to us...period. Oh yes, we go to work and 'earn' it. But let's talk about God just a bit here - I'll give more on this later, but concerning money, if He didn't give you your health, you wouldn't be able to work. What about those doors that opened up for that job? They could have been closed you know.
So God is the Provider, and the job is the tool He uses to give us our daily bread - money. Therefore, because God says we should give a tithe (a tenth) of our first fruits, we taught our children that the first 10 cents out of every dollar went to God first. He gives us 10 dimes and we get to keep 9! Wow, that's a lot! He only wants 1! What a good God!
He then tells us that what we sow, we will reap. Just like a farmer that sows corn he expects to reap a crop of corn, not apples! So if we sow love, we reap love, if we have a financial need, we sow money and we will reap the answer either through a gift, a pay raise, a refund or whatever. But we believe in God's laws. He invented Gravity - what goes up, must come down. He also has spiritual laws that most do not know about and reaping and sowing is one of those spiritual laws.
I've actually known churches who needed a new building that went to the mission field and built a church for people there and God supplied their needs soon there after! Not once, but two different instances!
As we give, He will give back to us. He is our Provider and uses the money we give back to take care of the less fortunate. But that's just the tithe - I won't even go into offerings...yet. More on all this later. Right now I'm just trying to encourage you to teach your children to be givers and not takers. It is their nature to be takers, giving is a learned thing.
Many mothers want to be their kids friend. Trust me, they will have many friends, but only one mother - you! Don't be afraid to be their mother either. Don't be afraid to make them mad or tell them no. First of all, that's your job. God has given you that job. Being a mother is a lot of joy and a lot of frustration (especially when they get older!) But it's also a lot of responsibility.
Your children did not ask to be brought into this world. They are here as a gift from God, according to the Scriptures and an act of faith between a man and woman. If your perspective towards your children would change, you wouldn't dream of leaving them alone to their own ways! They are more precious than diamonds and yet we allow themselves or others to make life changing decisons for their lives.
God's Word says "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child and the rod of correction will drive it far from him." Do I believe in actually hitting or spanking a child? Yes I do. No a beating, chastisement. God chastises us and we are made in His image. He instructs us to correct our children with rods - (switches). A few of those will get the message across that what they did was unacceptable. Pretty soon just a look from you will do the trick. But you've got to lay a good foundation of who is in charge - you! After all, don't you have more wisdom than a 2 yr. old child?
I can't begin to tell you how many times I've heard mother's say "I just can't get my 2 yr. old to mind me!" Who's bigger here? The last time I looked the parent is larger and stronger and you have a responsibility to correct that child, in love for his benefit - not your anger! So many parents need to grow up themselves that they don't realize how juvenile their thoughts are.
I'd like to regress for a moment...When I had been married for a couple of years and had been trying to get pregnant for most of that time a few co-workers were having babies. They were basically newly married and having baby showers, etc. and talking about all their dreams of what they were going to do when the baby came. After the baby came, they were back to work within six weeks.
I distinctly remember one co-worker who just couldn't wait to have a baby, who became pregnant and miserable, then delivered her son and was back at work after six weeks with the baby in a daycare from 7:30 AM till 5:30 PM. She said, "That kid was driving me crazy!
I went home and told Bill, "This country is going to pay for turning their kids over to daycare!" And that prophetic statement has come true today. But I have a hope that it's NOT too late and that those very kids, with God's leading, may be the very salvation of this country!
Being raised very poor, I never had anything above the very barest of necessities. But I never thought much about it either. My life was what it was. I never felt poor, probably because I didn't hang out with people other than my family. I was a loner more out of necessity than anything else. My parents were very anti-social, shy and introverted. We didn't attend church and my only social outlet was public school. My three older brothers didn't want their little sister tagging along behind them, so there ya have it! (And people wonder why I'm so strange - give me a break!)
As an adult I have become very gregarious and I love people. God literally delivered me from such an awkwardness and shyness that most do not believe me when I tell them that I once was so shy. He is my closest friend and I never get lonely and never feel alone. Because I'm not! He said He would never leave me nor forsake me and the joy from that belief overwhelms me.
The zeal of God consumes me - it burns deep within my soul and I love to tell the story of the love of Jesus and that He took my sins upon His Body and went to Hell for me. But the Joy in being a Christian is that He's Alive and He rose from the grave and now sits at the right hand of God the Father and ever intercedes for me. And He wants to do the same for you.
There's only one thing you have to do to receive that Love - Confess that you are a sinner, ask Him to cleanse you of all your sins, Believe that He died for you, that He rose from the grave and sits at the right hand of the Father and confess it with your mouth to someone - anyone - me - write it on this blog. That's a confession of faith in Christ. Then have an attitude of gratitude and Praise God, for your spirit (what makes you, you) has been Born Again and made new. You have a clean slate and can start your life all over again.
When you sin, immediately ask the Lord to forgive you and to give you His strength to walk in His Will and His Way. Get a Bible and read it, starting in the Book of John in the New Testament...and get in a Bible believeing church that teaches the Word of God - not man's religion. Blog me, I'll help you out. I'm praying for you all.... I didn't intend for this to end this way, but obviously God's doing something here...God Bless you and America... and all the mothers! I pray that you will choose wisely!
Love in Christ, Linda
